How to Become a Federal Criminal Audiobook

A hilarious, entertaining, and illuminating compendium of the most bizarre ways you might become a federal criminal in America – from mailing a mongoose to selling Swiss cheese without enough holes – written and illustrated by the creator of the wildly popular @CrimeADay Twitter account.

Have you ever clogged a toilet in a national forest? That could get you six months in federal prison. Written a letter to a pirate? You might be looking at three years in the slammer. Leaving the country with too many nickels, drinking a beer on a bicycle in a national park, or importing a pregnant polar bear are all very real crimes, and this riotously funny and ridiculously entertaining book shows how just about anyone can become – or may already be – a federal criminal. 

Whether you’re a criminal defense lawyer or just a self-taught expert in outrageous offenses, How to Become a Federal Criminal is your wonderfully weird window into a criminally overlooked sector of American government.